


Of Charms and Older Siblings (Shovel Remix)

by ModernArt2012



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Magic, Or: How not to Give A Shovel Talk, Prompt 2: Harry Potter/ Hogwarts AU, Room of Requirement, Shukaku is a crazy bastard always, Sumigakure Halloween Event 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12619172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernArt2012/pseuds/ModernArt2012
Summary: Temari’s got herself a Ravenclaw “friend” and Kankuro and Gaara have to give him a Talk.





	Of Charms and Older Siblings (Shovel Remix)

**Author's Note:**

> Temari is a Gryffindor, Kankuro's a Slytherin, and Gaara is a Hufflepuff and adorable. Shikamaru is a Ravenclaw.

“Kankuro, why are we doing this.” Gaara followed his older brother as Kankuro crept through the halls. He didn’t know why Kankuro was trying to be stealthy - Kankuro had cast a “Don’t Notice Me” Charm when they set out from the Great Hall, and no amount of noise would make anyone not using the counter Charm notice them.

 

“It’s the principle of the matter.” Kankuro peeked around the corner evaluating the corridor for something. Who even knew what. “What if that smart aleck Ravenclaw figures out we’re headed up this way and flees? We’d have to chase him down and that’d alert everyone and then we’d all have detention.”

 

“Didn’t you put a Tracking Charm on him when you brushed up against him this morning?” Gaara could be playing Exploding Snap right now with Naruto, or raiding the kitchens for ramen and manju, but no. He had to follow his brother because of a matter involving their sister, and “family is important”. Not that it wasn’t true, but where do you draw the line at who was important? Uncle Yashamaru is family! But Uncle Yashamaru had frowned when Kankuro came over to the Hufflepuff table during dinner, and Uncle Yashamaru had the best hugs (after Mother) and was not to be disappointed because then he made sad faces and wanted to talk instead of giving hugs on request. It was a tragedy, but  _ family _ and this is why he’s going to get sad faces and tea instead of hugs and Gaara really hopes Kankuro appreciates the sacrifices he’s making here. 

 

Also, Holy Helga, please let it be so that Temari never finds out about this otherwise they are dead. Murdered.  _ Thrown off the Astronomy Tower _ . Mostly Kankuro, because family or not Gaara can and will plead innocence  _ because he still has no idea what they’re doing anywhere near Ravenclaw Tower stalking another second year _ . Dueling Club is just a  _ club _ , they don’t need to worry about a match that had ended weirdly. Gaara wondered why he had to have such incomprehensible siblings, but then remembered the weirdo Slytherin Sasuke Uchiha and concluded that all siblings must be weird on principle. It still wasn’t fair though. Is there a Sibling Exchange Agency where he can get new ( _ sane _ ) siblings? Maybe he should ask Professor Sarutobi, he knew about  _ everything _ . He also had the best stash of candy, but that wasn’t the most important thing.

 

“Look, magic isn’t infallible Gaara. If you don’t have the skills to back up your magic talents, then it’s all a waste. Which is why you need to learn to hold a conversation and step out of your shell; otherwise, you can be the most talented wizard in the whole world but everyone will overlook you because they’ll think you’re antisocial and/or a psychopath.”

 

“But I’m a Hufflepuff?” Hufflepuffs were known as friendly and kind, right? Why would anyone think he was a psychopath. Kankuro was probably the psychopath, they’d passed up and down this same hall 5 times at least.

 

Kankuro stared at him for a long moment, bewildered, then sighed the sigh of the long-suffering. Gaara suspected that was a Slytherin thing, since almost all the Slytherins he knew had that sigh. “It doesn’t matter right now. The stupid little deer is headed this way.”

 

“I thought Ravenclaws were eagles?” Okay, maybe  _ that _ one was on purpose; Gaara was sure his ‘impeccable poker face’ meant that Kankuro had no idea if he was serious or not. 

 

Whatever response Kankuro would’ve given was overtaken by Kankuro pouncing and sticking a black bag over Shikamaru’s head, then dragging him through a door that hadn’t been there before. Must be like the pear you had to tickle to get to the kitchens. Gaara followed

 

Kankuro roughly pushed Shikamaru into a chair that was smack in the middle of a bright spot of light. The ropes laid loosely around the base of the chair snapped into place instantly, holding Shikamaru fast. “ _ Lumos _ .” Kankuro yanked off the bag, and shone the light from his wand in Shikamaru’s face. “We wanted to talk to you you scrawny baby deer.”

 

“Fawn.” Shikamaru blinked rapidly in the face of such a sudden light change. It couldn’t be comfortable. 

 

“What.”

 

“A baby deer is a fawn.” Gaara helpfully explicated. Professor Uchiha and Professor Hatake let Naruto (and him!) play with the less dangerous animals from Care of Magical Creatures and the dogs - such good dogs! - on weekends. Gaara had learned a lot about animals, magical and not. Pakkun had the softest paws.

 

Kankuro covered his face with his free hand and groaned. “Sweet Salazar. Whatever, please just tell me you brought the thing I left in the greenhouses?”

 

Gaara reached into his satchel and pulled it out. It had been weird to get, especially since Gaara had to chase it, fight it, and subdue it with food and a dazing spell before he could meet up with Kankuro. He had no idea why Kankuro wanted it, but since it had been an absolute terror fully awake, Gaara could kind of see it. 

 

Kankuro and Shikamaru blinked blankly at the tanuki Gaara had fished out. It was just shaking off the effects of the spell - Gaara had made the spell purposefully weak, since he hadn’t wanted to hurt it - and growling and lashing its tail and claws about cutely. Gaara pet it between its cute ears. 

 

“That isn’t the sharpened shovel I left in the greenhouses.” Kankuro stated baldly. 

 

“Why would you want a sharpened shovel?” Were shovels even meant to be sharpened?

 

“This is a shovel talk that was supposed to have a real shovel but has a crazy tanuki instead.” Shikamaru summarized. “Well, I have to say this is original.”

 

“Ugh, you know what, just pass me the tanuki. It seems wild enough to be a good threat.” Gaara dutifully handed over the tanuki to Kankuro, where it promptly went bonkers and bit the hell out of his hand. “Oh, sweet merciful Merlin!” Kankuro dropped the tanuki onto Shikamaru, who hissed when the tanuki swiped at Shikamaru’s chest. Then the tanuki skittered back to Gaara. He picked up the tanuki and cradled it close. It was still hissing, but wasn’t biting. Gaara thought it was progress. “Why do you even have the tanuki if it’s such a crazy bastard?” Kankuro babied his freely bleeding palm, inspecting the cuts. “It could have rabies!”

 

Shikamaru looked over the tanuki, the announced, “It probably doesn’t have rabies.” Then he stared at Kankuro’s hand and the cuts slowly stopped bleeding and closed. 

 

“You know wandless magic?” Kankuro stared. 

 

“Yeah, but it’s such a pain.” Shikamaru shrugged off the ropes and idly rubbed his head. “It’s just easier to do wand magic for now. Anyways, Gaara, are you going to keep the tanuki?”

 

Gaara looked up from where he was gently mashing a boiled egg he had taken from supper in order to feed the tanuki. “I think I’ll call it Shukaku. Isn’t he sweet?” Shukaku hissed and gnawed on his fingers, drawing blood. 

 

Kankuro and Shikamaru exchange Looks. “Sure, let’s go with that.” Kankuro banished his wand light and opened the door. “So, uh, this was supposed to be a ‘hurt our sister and we hurt you’ talk but it’s failed to go to plan, so lets call it even? Just, uh, be careful of Temari. She’s got a temper.”

 

“Sure, we’ll be even if you’ll teach me that Don’t Notice Me Charm and the Counter Charm.”

 

“Counter Charm for wandless magic.” Both parties took the deal as fair, and shook on it. Gaara stepped out into the corridor and watched them walk back to their respective dormitories, and then watched as his sister stepped out of a hidden passage further down the way. 

 

“Did you stop Kankuro from terrorizing Shikamaru for no reason?” Temari scowled from under her cloak hood. Why a cloak was necessary in late summer, Gaara couldn’t fathom. It didn’t matter either way, as long as Temari paid up; he held his hand out and received the promised item. A full bag of Honeyduke’s chocolate, the assorted variety with nuts and caramel truffle fillings. He stuck the bag into his satchel and bid his sister farewell. Tonight had been a good night.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:   
> \- Yes, Gaara did cheat the system   
> \- Shukaku is always a crazy bastard. Even as a normal tanuki.  
> \- Can anyone tell that Gaara was my original emo anime boy crush? Sasuke Uchiha who? XD  
> \- ALL THE CUDDLES FOR GAARA AND SHUKAKU  
> \- Gaara's ultimate poker face and deadpan delivery make it so that you can have a lot of fun in his head, especially at other's expense. Is he serious? Or is he just messing around with people? They won't know, it's great.  
> \- I regret nothing
> 
> Come scream with me on tumblr at modernart2012.tumblr.com


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